hour # 14 of work.  mixing and mastering. i want to just get it in the mail, so i can take a day off, and actually be excited about it again. and i'm not even doing the actual mixing and mastering.  just giving advice here and there.  i've got the easy job. and i'm still exhausted.

 its a wonder anyone can stand their own music after its all said and done. i feel the mark of any great song is the ability to listen to it 10 times, and still not have enough.  i'm not sure i'm there, but i think i'm hitting ground zero.  everything is clear, all barriers are gone, and i'm willing to just say fuck it, and try to drop their jaws.  please say, its all for something, and i already know the answer, it is, because it has to be.  my ego just wants a better answer than that.  i want to give away the motherload. and to tell you the truth, i'm scared shitless.. is anyone in the same boat?  i'm happy with it.  but i'm pretty terrified that i'll get the "ah, that's ok" response..  we do so much for the head nod, or the "that's really good"  u wanna be a star right? or maybe you don't.  i guess i do.  so really good isn't good enough.  but i'm happy with it, so that's all that matters right? its a step in the right direction at least.  i played my tarot cards, asked them what they thought.  mostly good.  started with the star. ended with be risky, make a bold statement, knock their socks off.  we'll just have to wait and see what the universe might boomerang back around to us after we all sleep in, and turn off our stereos for a few days.. 

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