Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/15 11:04Hey mparker, thanks much for the kind review. True fact: I never heerd of the Sad Rockets before, though I do have a couple of Can and Kraftwerk lps. Will acquire their record posthaste.
Thanks agin,
The Beurre Blancs
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strummindude
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Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/17 03:39I did the songs in your profile player. I know there are at least two songs missing, but there you go. I may go back and do the missing pair at some later point. But until that time, I hope you'll make do with what's in here.
- Strummindude
Review of Night Driving - Flaws
1. and so... OK, so the sweeping wind sounds, was that on purpose or is it an artifact? It gives kind of an ambient setting to the song that might be missed if it was taken away, but still it also obscures some of the finer nuances of the overall sound. But I kind of like the imagery of this guy, might be the cleaning guy of the premises, walking into the deserted studio room, finds a guitar, picks it up and starts performing. A half-drunk technician, asleep with his feet up on the mixing console in the darkened control room, is awakened by the sounds from the studio monitors, and reacts automatically, as if guided by remote control, triggering the tape machine. Secretly, he sits in the dark, quite taken by what he hears, congratulating himself for his instinctive reaction and for his good fortune to be experiencing this amazing vestigial musical piece at its fragile moment of birth...
Its lack of stringent form suggests a spur of the moment recording, and the song is reminiscent of some of Paul Simon's most inspired work.
Though I'm classicallly trained, I gave up on fingerpicking as soon as I got my first electric guitar, at 13, so I'm not very good at it at all. You do it very well, nice sound as well as dynamics in your guitar playing, it relly carries over the tune.
This type of music is hard to record well. I would have wished for a more close-up sound of the voice. But I guess you could just ask the sleepy technician for another take, for real this time. With individual mikes on the guitar and voice.
Good pick for an entre!
2. a thousand voices coming clear That thing you do to your throat sounds not quite like it was a thousand voices, but more like it would hurt a lot to try and imitate. I don't know whether you did that on purpose, whether it's your normal singing voice or something you did to bring out the desperation of the lyrics (you pass with flying colors), or maybe you had a throat infection that day, whatever. I can honestly tell you, if you continue singing like that, your career as a vocalist will be intense, but very short lived.
I have no real frame of reference for this type of music. I'd hesitantly dub it Latino Grunge-Punk, just for preliminary reference. I gotta tell you though, I completely love those trumpets. I am such a sucker for multi-part arrangements, and you're so in command doing that towards the end of the song, it's brilliant.
On the production side of things, I'd bring the drums more together and into focus, add bottom to the bass guitar and instead cut some on the kick drum. Maybe sit down and work out a consistent, pumping groove between the bass and drums. I feel the song could gain a lot by that. The beat and drive is a little all over the place right now, and what you're gaining in intensity by fuelling it with a lot of bass notes, you're missing in forward propulsion.
3. the view from up here I get inspired by listening to this song. Though it holds enthralling melodic pieces throughout, the way the pieces are linked together is refreshingly liberated from standard form and customary practice. I'm going to try and write more like this. It makes the song so much more interesting when you're not able to second guess the composer's next move as the song progresses.
Oh, and you're actually playing the drums, I didn't quite get that in the previous song. I gotta say I'm thoroughly impressed by your musical prowess. Not much to say about production, except that I really miss a bass guitar in there. If you did that on purpose, I'd like to know what the purpose is.
The lyrics, I'm guessing, is about some fairground attraction, like a ferris wheel or roller coaster? Anyhow, they're very good. And phrases like the leading "hoist me up" serve as pivotal cues for it to be memorable enough to stick in the mind of the listener.
4. don't worry I'll bring sunglasses and bottled water Excellent title, really contrasting to the gravity of the lyrics. You start up with a beautiful acoustic guitar intro, and then switch to piano when the vocal part starts. Somehow that reminds me of Peter Gabriel a lot. I don't know why, maybe he did that in a song or something. And in fact the whole song has an air of Gabriel to it. That is a good thing, I like him a lot.
Again, the bass guitar needs to be more audible, basically the same tweaks as I suggested in the second song of the album. You sing very well on this, even during the intense part just before the ending, in spite of the throat hurting vocal technique. It fits the desperation of the lyrics. Nice touch to finish off on a major chord.
5. watch it go You have a way of composing song that gives the impression of episodic imagery and glimpses of a larger structure. I don't quite know how to put it any better, but it's immensely suggestive and makes listening to each song a journey into the unknown. I think you'll find some people will dislike that about your music. They will find it erratic and void of proper structure, even confusing. And, really, you can't blame normal people for not recognizing artistic genious, their ears are not trained for the job. But I think you'll find that those with ears not shaped by the toxic mainstream brew will like your stuff with all the more fervor. Listen to them, and forget about the ones not getting it. Tell those to go listen to that strummin dud or whatever his name.
The sonic suggestions would be to work on the stereo image of the song. It's pretty flat right now, with much of it the instruments happening right at the centre of things. The shaker should probably be way off to one side, for instance, and one of the guitars could be expanded with some stereo effect, just to give the song some ambience.
6. freedom and drain cleaner You changed the title on this one? I found a blog entry where the title was Tangled Hairs. I don't know if that makes any more sense, but at least the words are in the song, whereas the new title isn't, and I don't even have a freaking idea as to what it means. But then again, maybe I'm not supposed to.
The format of this song is almost mainstream, with repeated verses and choruses, and once it gets started it has a warm bossanova groove pumping through. I would suggest honing that groove even more, integrating the bass and kick drum parts, until it is really flying. Also a bit more work on the overall sound picture would help as much here as in the previous song. Panning is a realy good and simple tool to make a soundscape more interesting and highlight different instrumental parts.
8. the looking back Trumpets again. You should really use that instrument more, because you play it really well. Yes! I just listened through it, and this is definitely my favorite song of your album, it is no less than a masterpiece. It is even better than I remember it, from listening to it back in February, when you were having some issues with the final high note, hitting it, or keeping it or whatever...
Just one minor suggestion about the arrangement would be that the groove you introduce with the thumb walking on the guitar in the first verse should maybe be a theme that continues through the song, preferrably taken over by a bass guitar once you abandon the picking mode and start strumming in the second verse.
And, yes, that final high note is really a tough one. But you nailed it.
10. lifetime of circles Alright, so this is another unedited live performance, like the first song, at least to begin with. It contains some really unusual harmonic shifts that take some getting used to, but already on the second listen they sound well placed and almost natural. Cool start with the turning of the lyric sheet or whatever that paper sound is. Ending as well. Lends the whole song kind of the author's perspective on it.
The setting of the song seems to be really long ago, and for all I know the lyrics could be telling some part of the Pocahontas legend from a different viewpoint than normal. It doesn't really much matter. What matters is you finish the album in style, with perhaps the most ambitious piece, themewise, of the entire album. And you pull it off, and why am I not surprised...
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Night Driving
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Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/17 14:26Very, very flattered. Both of these reviews are definitely the best feedback I've had regarding any of my work so far. I've begun to feel like many others in the "Unimpressed" thread, so I will re-read this many many times.
As requested, I uploaded the two remaining tracks to my player (had to delete a couple others to fit them in there) so you've got the entire thing!
Thank you again, Jana.
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7. filthy mirrors An epic! I would maybe have placed this song last on the album. That would add to its significance, and it sure is a significant song, no doubt about that. I feel there are a lot of metaphors hidden in these lyrics, but I won't go into detail picking the words apart. Firstly, because I don't see myself as qualified, and secondly because it would be wrong to steer any subsequent listener in any direction. To me, it's about class belonging, and conflicts of association, the inner struggle and aspiration to break free.
Again, I'm reminded of Peter Gabriel, but this time more the early Genesis days of half-hour epics like Supper's Ready. The melodic themes weave in and out to form a beautiful macramé of twists and sudden turns that is very evocative and suggestive of a pattern on a much grander scale than what is immediately obvious.
It's sung with an almost subtle, fragile tone of voice that really feels the tale it's telling. Great thematic execution of the commotion around the middle of the song. I would have liked to hear some of the instruments linger in the latter part of the song, though. It becomes a bit long for just the guitar and vocals to really carry it all the way. Maybe the strings, a lonely trumpet and some simple bass guitar just hitting the simple lows would have done it.
Anyhow, this is great work. Impressive songwriting.
9.into the city lights Recorded sounds of light traffic passing on a rainy street accompanies this little ditty from start to finish. This lends an appropriate sonic setting to the lyrical theme of driving away, as opposed to driving towards, something.
An electronic beat, smooth synth bass and a Rhodes with the vibrato up high forms the instrumental backbone of the song. A piano is added towards the end, together with (manually recorded) bells. All instruments are expertly performed, and the song is very pretty. It breaks off from the general pattern of the album, which is otherwise very much based around acoustic guitars. And as such, it would maybe have been a good idea to stick it in earlier in the sequence of songs than having it appear as song no 9.
I would also maybe work a bit more on the vocals of this song. It seems to be all in one take, and that's generally a good idea to start with. But there are some weaker phrasings that you likely could have done better, and there's nothing wrong with doing stuff over and spend some time editing bits together. I feel the song would really benefit from more consideration in that department in particular.
- - -
I'd like to congratulate you on a stunning debut album. You're starting out at a very high level of accomplishment, and I'm very much looking forward to following your progress in the years to come. Cheers, my friend!
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Jeffrey David Archer
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Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/22 04:49This is a review of the album "In The Event Of Moon Disaster" by Zanois. The album is a "concept" album about the American Apollo 11 mission to the Moon in 1969.
1. Tranquility Base? - Bursts of white noise give way to a keyboard driven tune accented with a great glokenspiel sound. The music has an almost "1960's" vibe to it which goes well with the fact that the mission was made in 1969. The lyrics are sung with an almost "robotic" delivery (as they are throughout the entire album) which strangely fits the music very well. The drums sound fairly "lo-fi" but this is actually a plus as the contrast between them and the more "hi-fi" sounding keyboards create a very interesting texture to the music.
2. Chattering Teeth - If 1970's-era Santana got together with Steve and Eydie's backing band and had a lovechild and that lovechild made music it would sound a lot like this. The lyrics tell us about the vastness and coldness of space. The mix is very strong and glockenspiel sounds abound.
3. Eagle On The Moon - This tranquil instrumental represents the actual landing of the the astronauts onto the Moon's surface. More Santana percussion mixed with the glockenspiel bring this musical reverie home. A dreamy mix of other worldy sounds.
4. Nixon & Cohorts - This song marks a departure from the overall vibe of the songs preceding it. There is some great rocking piano being played here but my attention was constantly being pulled to the raw sound of the drums. The lyrics here tell of Nixon and his fellow politicians' limited funding of NASA and the Apollo program. Good groove here.
5. First Photos (Reminiscent) - The glockenspiel is back in full effect. The lyrics in this song sing the praises of the beauty of the Moon's surface and the colors that exist there that we don't see on Earth. The astronauts are so taken with this beauty that they don't want to leave the Moon.
6. Safire Wants Gold - This piece begins with some fast piano playing then the drums come in with an almost "shuffle" feel. The lyrics tell the tale of newspaper writer Will Safire and his longing for the Apollo mission to fail so that he can make a good story out of it for his paper. At least that's how I understood it.
7. Why Anyone Would - A funky drumbeat starts off this song about how after you have been to the Moon the Earth just doesn't seem all that great anymore. Nice piano fills around the verses and that ever present glockenspiel filling in the cracks.
8. In The Event Of Moon Disaster - The title track of the album and in my opinion the most engaging song of the lot. This short but sweet instrumental features a wonderfully distorted organ sound (is that organ?) that grabs your attention right from the start and doesn't let up. It is definately the hook of the song. The drums are kicking in an almost John Bonham style. Awesome song. I am almost tempted to say that the distorted organ part is a little too high in the mix but at the same time it's such a strong hook that I think it's loudness works.
9. Malfunction - Another keyboard driven piece that features some very complex layers of sonic goodness. This song changes complexion quite frequently from it's uptempo beginning to a spacy middle section and finally resolving itself in an almost "blues"-like ending. The music reminds me of 1970's-era Weather Report. A kind of jazzy-rock fusion with suprises around every corner.
10. Turkey In The Space - This song celebrates the safe return of the brave astronauts. The tune takes the tempo of a "march" with an organ making tight little stabs into the musical soundscape. A flute sounding synth plays a melody over the top of the march. The tune fades out but tjust when you think that the album is over the listener is treated to what sounds like some heavily processed speech although I wasn't able to make out what it was saying.
I really enjoyed this album. When I first "signed on" for this critiqueing thread I was sort of afraid of what album I might end up with to review. I don't like saying bad things about other artists work although I would been honest about any album that I ended up reviewing. Luckily I ended up with this album and I can't say that there was much of anything that I didn't like or anything that I would have done differently. This is definately a charming and entertaining listen.
As a footnote I just want to say that I had wanted to post this review up at least a week ago but I just didn't have the time to do a thorough review for the album until today. The last thing that I wanted to do was post a review that read something like "Nice album. Sounded great. Rock On." I believe that any artist who takes the time to produce an album of material deserved the respect of having that album listened to thoroughly. Just my thoughts I guess.
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ericpburt
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Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/26 12:51Artist : Jeff Archer Album : Plank Road Track 1 – Acetone Cool melodies, and I like the chord changes right off the bat. The voice is different, and I like that. This track seems like an intro to something bigger, and it is growing as the song goes on. I like the synth sound, very different from most “Country” music you hear, as the genre states that’s what this is.
Track 2 – The Rose of Wildcat Road Now this starts out the way I would think country would! Something about this reminds me of early Beck. I haven’t heard drums yet, so i'm assuming now that this is more of a guitar based album. Good guitar playing throughout. And I have a soft spot for slide guitar. Song is about how even though someone he knows might be changing as they grow older, they will always be “the rose of Wildcat Road” meaning he will remember them a certain way no matter what.
Track 3 – Wow/Flutter I like the playing on this one, and the chord stabs are what make the song in my opinion. I like the way this song builds as it goes on. Once again the use of synths on this song, kind of marry the genres of Country with Progressive if you ask me. It’s pretty neat. Great Lead guitar playing, very tasteful. One thing I was kind of expecting was for the song to switch directions at some point because of the dual name, but that didn’t happen. Still a neat piece of music.
Track 4 – Sunshiny Day I was very glad to see this wasn’t a Brady Bunch cover song It has a kind of eerie intro to it, like something ominous is going to happen, kind of the opposite of what you would think a “Sunshiny Day” would be. Song is about someone realizing they were wrong about something and contemplating suicide. They realize they can’t run away from their problems and need to just end it all. I like the reverse imagery a lot. Such a dark song with a happy title. Keyboard use is neat again too. Very simple, but it helps the song quite a bit. The song fades out, but maybe you could have just ended it suddenly as a metaphor for him actually going through with it?
Track 5 – Blood Road I like the chords in this one right from the beginning. It has a bit of carry over from the previous song, in the kind of ominous feel to it. Great tasteful lead guitar again, and cool use of synths. I have to say you are melding Country with Progressive, not sure if that’s what you were going for or not, but I like it.
Track 6 – The Liner Notes (Of My Heart) This song is about a man telling his feelings to someone, possibly a continuation of the last 2 songs? I like how you used music writing as a metaphor for your relationship. Short and sweet and to the point, my favorite song on this album.
Track 7 – Lake Nepessing Third instrumental of the album. Once again, tasteful guitar playing. And great use of synths. I like the guitar effects at about the 2:05 mark, and the reverse guitar sounds cool as hell! Good song. Although, I don’t think it needed to be as long as it was.
Very good job, you have good ideas, and are a great guitar player. Your voice is unique, which is a good thing. I wouldn’t really group this under the country genre so to speak, but then again, I don’t know what you would group it under, so I can see why you did! I give this album an 8 out of 10!
I also have to thank Entropy (sorry so late!) for the wonderful review, I thought it was very kind, and appreciated it very much! Feel free to re-review mine if anyone would like
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That being said however I was hoping to have someone review the album I made for this year's RPM Challenge under the name "Spooky Garcia". The album is called "Molten Gold And Brimstone" and it can be downloaded here..
The picture on the cover frightens me! Takes me to a place where people light themselves on fire for a living. Definitely evokes emotion, and that is a good thing.
The Bitter End: This is a nice, mellow, sad love song. The vocals are smooth, the music is subtle, the solo is long and lingering like the song calls for. Overall the whole song works. The lyrics are good, they tell the story and happily avoid cliché territory.
Little Girl Sunshine: It could be the chord progression but Heart’s ‘Dog and Butterfly’ came to mind on this one. Not in an exact replica kind of way, but in the overall mood of the song kind of way. The instrumentation through most of the song is sparse, but when the other instruments are added in towards the end of the song it’s quite nice.
Sunshine and Rainbows: Very tongue-in-cheek. The happy title and happy chords coupled with dark lyrics sung cheerily is great. Some of the lyrics had to be shoved in the spaces to fit. Sometimes it works, sometimes you just need to find another word with an alternate amount of syllables. Love the mandolin.
Open Letter: This is probably my harshest critique… Because the music is so slow and hangs around in the same territory, the lyrics really need to grab you. Unfortunately, they do not in this song. The lyrics are predictable and the unfolding of the song painfully slow. The title of the song pretty much already told the story. That said, the melody is stuck in my head even after listening to all the other songs!
Winter Roses: Love the country feel to the song. There is longing in the song, accented by the slide guitar, very nice. The storytelling in this song is fantastic, I felt like crying right alongside when that door closed. Skies Drifter 833: This song has a Foo Fighters feel…the vocals reminiscent of Dave Grohl, in a good way. The atmosphere of this song is nice. This is my favorite song sonically.
Cheyenne: Another great, sad, love song.
Appalachian Sunrise: This song makes me want to retract my critique of ‘Open Letter’ (mommy!)… The story pulls you along nicely, the lyrics are great, the content is a little Eminem/Kim. It works though.
The production of the album as a whole is great. There are no drums in any of the songs, which is interesting and lends itself to the overall country feel . I love the addition of the mandolin, steel guitar and other instruments, they really add another dimension to the songs. The songs work individually and also work as an album. Fantastic effort, hope to see what you come up with next year.
For the record: My critique of ‘Open Letter’ was not easy, I think I edited it a few times, but I feel it’s important to be honest. I probably would have been less harsh if the rest of the songs weren't so good.
******
We did not participate in 2008, but have some songs from 2007 in our profile, more songs on Virb: http://www.virb.com/indi
Sock it to me.
Post edited by: Indi, at: 2008/04/27 19:36
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I agree with you concerning "Open Letter" The song is about a father reading a suicide note that was left to him by his daughter but I wanted the listener to think, up until the last verse, that the suicide note was a "Dear John" letter left by a wife to a husband.
I really like the lyrics in "Open Letter" but ultimately I don't feel that the song was successful.
Anyways thanks for your insightful review and I will check out your music and write a review for you when I get a chance.
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I wish I had continued listening to the lyrics completely through. I think I tuned out partway through and missed that line. I hope the song isn't autobiographical. Sorry for being nitpicky on such an emotional song, I feel awful about that. But, as I said the melody really sticks in one's brain and had I been patient enough, I might have 'gotten' it.
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We did not participate in 2008, but have some songs from 2007 in our profile, more songs on Virb: http://www.virb.com/indi
Sock it to me.<br><br>Post edited by: Indi, at: 2008/04/27 19:36
Indi - Oh Empty I saw Indi was still active on the boards even without a submission for 2008, I thought that was a cool thing. Glad you're staying plugged in. You stated to Sock it to me, here it is. If I have misinterpreted, PM me and I won't continue.
Oh Empty is a fitting title. The music is a successful exercise in minimalism. No Mariah Carey vocal acrobatics here. No Ritchie Sambora guitar riffs. To put it colonary terms, its wonton soup. Its a few ingredients in a clear broth. If those reading have never had wonton soup, go get some now and read this after. You Know Sometimes Poetry, light electronic beats, guitar and Indi's voice front and center. Its the theme music for the mysterious stranger that comes to the small town. You know the one they never show his face...just the black boots. It, the music and the stranger, seems a little out of synch at first, but it fits the lyrics. "Sometimes I don't even know my own mind" Flying The vocal stylings on this track is reminisent of familiar bands I like; Berlin or an early Natalie Merchant / 10,000 Maniacs. I'm glad you chose to use you're own voice to do your backup work. The music is a great canvas for your voice. Surprised to Find You Here My soul has been plundered. This is the kind of song I used write, at the least the music is. Jazzy, moody, with a delicious lack of formula. Just expression. Its a shame it was not longer. Oh Empty This is part of the movie where the hero dies just after the victorious final battle. I really like the feel of this one, true Americana. But the electronic keyboard part detracted from the overall peice. You may have been just trying to fill in the space. If so, I would stick with something acoustic. The song is really good with just the guitar, bass and drums.
For some reason, this all that would play from Virb. I will try again later.
Feedback thought: Cowboys Junkies did a cover of Lou Reeds' "Sweet Jane". If you're not familiar, its a female lead vocals with a minimalist-styled delivery. The band was also a bit minimalist not to overpower the vocals. You did that very well. You may want to give that song a listen to spark future creativity.
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Oh, and thel1195: it's CULINARY terms. Unless you're saying wonton soup doesn't agree with you.
It was late. Didn't even think to use spell check. I happen to like Wonton soup. Just gained a new appreciation for it actually. But, I guess as with anything, it depends on who makes it. It doesn't have to be plain. I wasn't aware it was so unpopular. Damn, living in a box again.
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Looks like the1195 (doing business as Baby's First Ride) left the last one and is therefore up for review.
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thel1195
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Re:Critique thread...want opinions on your music? - 2008/04/29 19:20Yeah, I've already had one. I think there are a couple that have not had thier first. I'll attempt to scroll through and pick out some people who are waiting. I'll simply list them if I find them.
Baby's First Ride Lyndell
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It has a kind of eerie intro to it, like something ominous is going to happen, kind of the opposite of what you would think a “Sunshiny Day” would be. Song is about someone realizing they were wrong about something and contemplating suicide. They realize they can’t run away from their problems and need to just end it all. I like the reverse imagery a lot. Such a dark song with a happy title. Keyboard use is neat again too. Very simple, but it helps the song quite a bit. The song fades out, but maybe you could have just ended it suddenly as a metaphor for him actually going through with it?
