BrokenPromiseKeeper
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Song Writing Contest? What Say You? - 2008/06/22 21:19 Last week, I got an email about the Indie International songwriting contest. At first, I was skeptical, as there's a $30 entry fee, but after looking into it a bit more it seems fairly legit with real sponsors like Sam Ash and is judged by real people in the business. So I figured why not?

Earlier this month, I'd listened to my 2007 RPM entry and while I cringed at most of it, one song had always stood out in my mind as having potential. Like its brethren on my initial attempt, the execution was shoddy, but I remember listening to it and thinking "I need to re-do this one." The email about the songwriting competition gave me the impetus to go ahead and improve what was basically a good song.

"Look Out Hollywood" is about the realization a relationship's gone sour, using analogies of the film industry. I re-worked some of the lyrics, added a bridge that the original version lacked, and overall sped it up and nailed much better performances all over.

This thing gallops along like crazy now with pretty cool bass and drums, and the vocal harmonies are tight, really kicking the song into overdrive on the choruses and bridge. It's nice when your mental vision or soundtrack is realized; this is what the song should have been before.

You can check out the new, improved version here:
http://www.brokenpromisekeeper.com/2008_RPM_demos/look_out_hollywood.html

As for the songwriting competition, I probably wasted $30 but what the hey. I was pumped after finishing this song, and think it's pretty strong in terms of melody and has fairly clever lyrics, if I do say so myself. More info on the contest in case anybody else is interested can be found here -- there's a June 30th deadline and the judging is 4-6 weeks after that:
http://www.indieinternational.com
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BrokenPromiseKeeper
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Re:Song Writing Contest? What Say You? - 2008/08/16 06:59 so I finally heard back about this contest (I know, you've all been dying to see how it turned out). no, I did't win and didn't really expect to but figured it was worth seeing how these things work. it was interesting to hear what they said about my song, although it turns out the judge who scored my entry is a singer-songwriter coach in the country genre, so there may have been a little language barrier or something between her style and expectations and my attempt at power pop. oh well, some of these comments are probably worth considering... but not agonizing about.

Broken Promise Keeper - Look Out Hollywood
http://www.brokenpromisekeeper.com/2008_RPM_demos/look_out_hollywood.html

Your score: 78.000000
Average score for this contest: 77.917778

Originality: 78
Quite a few "reel world" songs out there that comment as to what a "show" the relationship has become.

Composition: 78
OK lyric and melody marriage.

Melody: 80
Try to find some variety (even a couple of notes) between verse lines; I do like the chorus melody much better than verses -- has a nice flow and interesting changes. I'm giving you an 80 for the chorus!

Lyrics: 75
There is a beauty in creating similies and metaphors to compare one thing to another; but in songwriting, if you go too literally, it just gets to be a phony list of things. You need to consider dialing it back, in this case. Don't make every line, line after line, some separate view of a Hollywood reference. To bring in even more "outside" references (CGI) is really going overboard. We need more intimacy, relationship, and the real you (and her). We have no sense of any person who's real to identify with or get close to -- just a bunch of lines that have film references in them. You need to show the realistic contrast of "I really loved you, but were you just playing a part?"

Phrasing: 79
Phrasing was OK, but somewhat stilted and rote.


I will sleep better tonight knowing I am 0.082222 better than average!
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